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While it can be difficult to change this thinking, it's key to recognize that by participating in these stages the abuser is effectively regaining control over their partner. Reconciliation and calm periods are believed to be the abuser at their most authentic self. Often, a partner’s abusive behaviors are viewed as isolated incidents instead of a repetitive pattern. The first step in breaking the cycle of abuse is to acknowledge that there is one. Your partner puts you down for things you like or your hobbies.They take credit for your accomplishments.Your partner makes subtle but rude comments about the way you look.They often say things like, “You take everything so seriously,” to frame their abuse as light teasing.Your partner uses sarcasm to disguise insults.Body language can typically give this away, such as eye-rolling or shaking their head. They are dismissive of your feelings or other important things.However, a larger system of abuse includes regular use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer.
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Your partner patronizes you by saying things such as, “Aww, you tried, but you’re just not capable of this.” Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most obvious forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem.They call you names and try to act as if they’re joking.They may yell at their victim, call them names, or level baseless. Your partner uses accusatory and finite statements such as, "You never do this for me," or "You’re always late for everything." Perpetrators of emotional abuse consistently criticize, shame, and humiliate in order to gain control and power in a relationship.They gave you a mean or derogatory nickname and passed it off as endearing.Some signs that you may be emotionally abused by your partner include: In some cases, people who are experiencing abuse, specifically emotional, aren’t aware that it’s happening.